[chinese blood, irish heart] - DEFUNCT: Early new year's resolution

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Early new year's resolution

As I've written before, my skin condition has improved leaps and bounds in the past 2 months. Before I saw this doctor (like, my 10th), I would've had at least 2 flare ups and all that incovenience and mental agony that comes with it.
In fact, it's as if I'm cured, but deep down I know I'm not, it kinda still lingers around. And I fear what will happen when I stop seeing my doctor... I cannot imagine have to keep seeing him once every week forever! Not to mention gulping down that horrid herbal tea night after night.
But I'm confident the worst is over and that's why I've decided to make it my mission to do all the things I hadn't been able to do for the past 3 years due to my skin problem on my hands and feet. And that's a lot of things if you think about it!

Firstly, gotta whip myself back into shape and start learning (and re-learning) physical activities. Maybe take up golf again, go on more hikes and getting into paintball more - it just seems like my kind of thing. (Wargames is just stuipid). Plainly putting it, doing more strenous activities. Nevertheless the exercise will do me good.

This impetus also stems from other unforseen factors... The past 3 years also taught me some harsh emotional lessons. The 'G' incident like I mentioned before was something I hoped doesn't happen again - I waited everyday with bated breath for that moment to come. It peaked when she told me first she wanted to break up with her boyfriend, but it all ended up smacking across my face with her u-turn soon afterwards.

But as sure as the sun sets, it came and bit me back in the ass. It's hard to ignore it, what with the similar scenario. Instead of getting caught in a quagmire like I had with 'G', I've just got to distract myself enough so I don't dig myself deeper. I think it's quite pathetic actually the way I am... friends would say why keep this to yourself or just go for another? I never even solved that with 'G', doubt I'll have a good answer this time around. But like 'G', the problem resolved itself eventually, can't remember when exactly. I can safely say I don't have those feelings for her anymore. Even though we don't liase as often as I'd like, she's off doing her own thing and I'm doing mine, but when we meet again I know we were always old friends.

Yup, so considering this to be an early new year's resolution, I'm going to take up my old physical hobbies and find new ones and be damn good at it... and even if I am 'waiting' for her - which I hate to admit - I'll use the time to be the best person I can possibly be.