[chinese blood, irish heart] - DEFUNCT: Another day, another flare-up

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Another day, another flare-up

Thought I would've never had to wear my notorious black gloves again, but in these few days I had to.
After several months of abstaining from medicine for my goddamn skin condition, I thought I could ride it out as time went by.
My hands have been pretty bad lately - hence the gloves. And this is after my feet had gotten better... I'm sure it's not going to last for long either.

A close relative of mine, who's studied the fine arts of Chinese mysticism, feng shui or whatever you want to call it, concoted this set of numbers after some research and consultation with masters in this field - 0002050 - which he says if I mutter it to myself like tantric meditation long enough, it can heal my liver, hence bettering my skin condition.

Now, when I heard this I was completely turned off by the idea that something so ludicrous would work. My relative also has his own skin affliction, and he says his set of numbers worked for him in the past few months. And I can vouch that he's no fool.

And I just don't understand myself, but I found myself muttering the numbers when I had some alone time, or as I stared aimlessly outside the bus windows. I'm amazed I bought into all this, but I do feel after all the different types of medication and doctors I've tried, why not amuse myself eh?

I'm just so tired and sick of trying to find ways to heal myself, after all I've been through and the money I've (and my parents) spent. Do good things come to all those wait? I guess I'm waiting for something to fall on my lap and bam, here's what I gotta do to cure this thing. I cannot let myself get used to my cyclic condition though; I cannot keep suffering on-and-off like this because I have big plans! I want to travel, climb mountains, go on treks, lug a big camera around and go film amazing scenes around the world... I can't do all that knowing I have this demonic skin condition always lurking within me, ready to flare up again.

You know what's worse? No mongoloid doctor so far has yet to give me a genuine diagnosis. Fucking worthless.