[chinese blood, irish heart] - DEFUNCT: April 2008

Sunday, April 20, 2008


So many Chinese around the mainland are protesting against all things French. They've besieged Carrefour stores and this fucking hilarious picture of a French flag was taken above by Reuters that's been published in Sunday Post.

"Joan of Arc = Prostitute" "Napoleon = Pervert" "France = Nazi" "Free Corsica"
Hmm, maybe the French should hit back with their own: "Mulan = Skanky Hoe" "Mao Zedong = Paedophile" "China = Democrat(!)" "Free Hong Kong"

When is this juvenile behaviour going to end people? It's just the bleedin' Olympics! And you're all right it shouldn't be about politics... it's about drug scandals, raunchy athlete sex and hot figure skaters. Ooooh can't wait to go!


Thursday, April 17, 2008

No hopes, no dissapointments... just live

Wouldn't it be abso-fucking-lutely funny if I couldn't go to Beijing? All the mental preperations and informing people all for nothing. There's still some things to be sorted out from my bosses' end before I'm set to leave. Knowing how bureaucratic our system is, I'm doubt I'll leave on my proposed date of May 2nd.

I'm in this temporal flux right now where I don't give a shit about anything - no hopes, no disappointments, that sort of mode... just dying to whisky myself away to a foreign and hostile environment. I guess there is still a slight bitter taste in my mouth given the shit I had to go through these past 5-6 months. I've moved on but there is still a lingering resentment at myself for being such a love-struck fool. I'm going to make myself immune by purposely being cynical and cold as ice for the time being. I cannot afford to be paralyzed like that again, not when so much is expected of me right now. That's why I can't wait to be in a heightened sense of alertness that I usually get when in unfamiliar environments. That will distract me enough till all those lingering bad feelings fade away into obscurity. Just like it had before.

I do of course want to return to Hong Kong after my Olympic expidition. I see this trip as a way of 'realigning' myself because I've been feeling so out-of-place with myself, my environment, friends and family. It's like I don't belong anywhere. My feet is constantly off the ground, floating aimlessly and without direction in life. I guess my problem is that I have too many aspirations and not enough inspiration. I need to find a cause and fight for something!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Warlords Conquer HK Film Awards!

Here she is, the video I gave up my Sunday for...


Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Microwave organised the latest feast for the public's eyes, A-Glow-Glow features two interactive art installations. Volume by UVA and Phaeodaria by Teddy Lo. Both of which I still don't understand.

Loads of people turned up for the opening ceremony last Friday. I doubt if any of the organisers were so disillusioned to think all those media and fans (excluding the obvious ones holding Andy Lau banners) were there to support the art. Indeed, the presence of Andy Lau did do a lot to draw in the crowds and press, but still I kind of felt sorry for Chris (UVA) and Teddy - most of the cameras were pointed to Andy instead, and so were the screams from many horny pubescent girls. At the end of the day, I hope Andy did go some way in promoting innovative media arts to the public. We need more of these internationalised events!

With the help of a colleague I managed to pull Andy away for a quick English soundbyte. It's so funny, check it out yo. By the way, his latest film Three Kingdoms is bollocks. These period films are just too melodramatic and clearly not violent enough for my tastes.


Monday, April 14, 2008


Attended my first major award show on Sunday, namely the Hong Kong Film Awards. We were tasked in doing a short video on the celebrities gracing the red carpet and a short blurb on the winners.
I've watched many of these shows on TV, but I must say when you're watching it from the press area the atmosphere is certainly different. Initially I was excited about going to it, but at the end of the dreary day, I just said to myself I would never want to cover events like these again.... unless I'm forced to of course. In which case I'll have no qualms about loathing the assignment again.
I hate entertainment news and all the people involved in that arena. It doesn't slightly hold a drop of journalism and their presence only legitimises the celebrities' chauvinism. Can't help but feel contempt for this airhead TVB showbiz host that we sat next to. Aside from her constant fuck ups, it was the seamless flip from her normal personality to presenter personality that made me chuckle. If you can imagine: once the camera's on she's all happy and high-pitched, and once the take is done her face turns completely upside down. Her jobs seems like such a chore.
I also hated how most of the photographers/TV crews played their PSPs or whatever while they waited for the celebs to show up. Fucking juveniles.

And no need to point out me being a hypocrite, I admit I also held myself in contempt for being there afterwards. But if it's any consolation, I rarely get assigned to these events.

And AAARRRGGGHHHH how could SCMP you use a goddamn Reuters photo for their front page of the Awards????? Some fucking mongoloid should get fired for that, I don't care who it is, this sheer blasphemy must not go unpunished. And hah, this is surely not the only time we've used a wire photo for a major local news event.

This photo is perhaps my best memento even though I have no idea who she is...


Tuesday, April 08, 2008


There's been a lot of anti-China sentiment recently. Conversely, it's instigated a sort of anti-West (plus BBC, CNN etc.) sentiment too. On the topic of the Olympics and the mini protests that came with it, many local Chinese I've talked with or listened to frequently express their disgust at Western media reporting as well as contempt for the American and European governments. I got a big earful of this from my father's cousin during a family outing. Though I wasn't discussing it with him directly, I couldn't help but feel his thoughts had been overpowered by his sense of nationalism. At first I was scoffed at his attitude, even more so perhaps because he was a Hongkonger... yes, I still like to maintain the difference between Hongkonger and mainlander. Eventually I decided not to offer any rebuttal since it was a family day out. The Chinese certainly have a right to feel proud of the mainland hosting the Games.

Many people I encountered make it seem as if the West and the media is deliberately out to cause trouble and claim China's bad press is fabricated. So I was pleased to hear when a guest on CCTV's Dialouge proclaimed that 'China is not a perfect country'. Others should learn to be humble and acknowledge the problems of one's country, whether it's hosting the Olympics or not. But the air of egoism is so thick right now I can cut it with a knife. Some other cynics I've talked to say the Tibetan riots were overblown by those in the West who want to instigate unrest and give China a bad image. Not entirely an unplausible idea mind you.
On the other side, many so-called pro-Tibetans or anti-China forces say the mainland is crushing human rights and censoring the truth. Again, not unplausible either. Fact of the matter is, and from what I've learned over the years in the media, news events like these can never be reported or revealed in its truest form. Many factors determine this such as censorship and self-censorship, laziness, bias, apathy, deadlines, editorial principles, political motives and money. I'm not condoning the old saying: 'don't believe what they say on the news', but certainly don't let it cloud your judgement.

That's why I never form my own opinions on these big issues anymore. When people ask me about global issues I always abstain. But I always make it clear why I don't have a definitive opinion by levelling both sides of the argument. This thinking is mostly why I've turned down or stayed away from standard reporting jobs. I feel the best way to tell an honest story is to do in-depth feature-length programmes. This is my lofty goal. Now all I've got to do is find good socially aware stories!


Saturday, April 05, 2008

Chek Geng revisited...

It's been a while since I've written about our little inconspicous Hakka village, but there's been new impetus what with ideas to revitalise the place.

Notions are floating around with the possibility to invest and restore some of the houses and turn the place into a teeny tourist hub. It's also close to the popular Tai Long Wan beach.
This time around we visited the village with my dad, grandmother, relatives, friends and a fellow journalist. It's my third visit so far but this time was entirely different because as I walked past the mangroves, derelict houses and what not, I kept imaging what this place would be like if indeed it was revitalised. And how nice it would be to escape here from the drudgeries of urban life.

After a few meetings with a well-known interior designer, it's now up to my folks back home to coerce other relatives into the idea, since they also own some of the properties. Without their permission or support we can't really do much. My grandmother kept regaling us with tales about sitting outside facing the beach for dinner, farming and the kids playing. I think she does yearn to see this village alive again, so hopefully something significant can be achieved while she's still around.

Hmm, I wonder if I can reserve a spot to build an Irish pub? I'll give it a nice Chinese-Irish name... "O'Lee's" perhaps? Hehe.


Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Hmpf. I knew fate would be so cruel to try and inflict me with the same wound again. The events and emotions that unfurled with her over these past months ran almost parallel as it had with 'X'. It was an ordeal I promised myself to never suffer from again. Obviously I failed.

Because what she told me today confirmed another relapse of 'X'. No need to say what it is but what's important is that it's something eerily similar to what had happened before with 'X'. And that's what's pissing me off so much today. I'm already withdrawing myself from these feelings and yet I had to be hit with this.

I'm not mad at anyone in particular, I'm just mad that it's seemingly happening all over again and out of my control. I've seem to have either stumbled upon a really fucked up series of coincidences these past months, or perhaps it's just plain cruel fate. Why has it been so much pain with the only two I've ever loved? And why can't I shut it off when there's no hope?? During these times my heart felt like it weighed a tonne, and it did genuinely hurt sometimes when I thought of them, be it when I stare out of the bus window or staring up at my ceiling on a regular sleepless night.

It's just so fucking ironic that it's come full turn after all that time. At first I knew this was turning into another 'X' type scenario. Now it really is. Just imagine the worst episode of your life doing a re-run, only with a different character. Naturally one would ask themselves: "WHY WHY WHY did it have to happen again to me?" That's what I'm going through. I mean, forget her, this is something really tragic. It's more than unlucky, it's plain fucking pathetic too. Yet, at least these past 5 months wasn't as bad as those 3 years before. I mean, jeez, I was in pieces before I came to Hong Kong. Not to mention my subsequent health problem.

Look at it this way, it cannot get any worse from now on. It's the end of this scenario, this cruel fated trick... ending up as another bad memory. Unrequited love is not courageous or romantic, it's fucking wrong and should be banned.

Anyway, fucking hell, I don't deserve this. Need to get so pissed drunk this weekend...